How to tell your Anxiety to F*** off!

Anxiety. We all have it.

We have it before a presentation, or when we’re about to start something new, or even when we’re thinking about saying something to a friend or partner. It’s there, waiting to give you a message of “caution, this might be hard”. All of this is normal. Anxiety is an emotion. We can’t get rid of it. And we shouldn’t want to. In fact, anxiety is our body’s mechanism to signal that something is coming and to pay attention to it. It’s actually quite friendly in nature. Think of it as your best friend just trying to give you advice. But like all friends, they can be wrong or have their own opinions. We don’t have to accept what they say as true. The same for anxiety.

You see, anxiety doesn’t actually have eyes. It operates through your body and well… your body may have been through a lot meaning it gets activated pretty easily sometimes. This is where the irrational thinking brought on by anxiety comes from. Think of it this way - research shows that 80% of your thinking comes from your body signals. Holy shit, 80%!! That’s HUGE.

So if your body is saying:

“Oh shit, this is danger” —> anxiety ON —> Transmits to brain danger signal —> Thoughts of “something bad is going to happen” “I'll never be able to do it” = that spirally thought sensation.

It’s a cycle. I know. How annoying.

But good news. We can manage the emotion! I can’t promise that it’s easy work but over time you can regain control of this emotion. And maybe, just maybe, become friendly with it again :)

Strategy #1:

Create a persona for your anxiety.

• What does it look like? Object, animal, person, blob, whatever! Even draw it out. Your brain loves visuals.

• NAME IT. Yes, give it a name. Mine is Bob Joe. Why? I don’t know. It just fit at the time.

• Make it light. Your persona doesn’t have to be serious in nature. Take my Bob Joe for example. I smile every time I think of the name. Anxiety HATES humour. It defuses it almost instantly.

• TALK TO IT. Remember this is suppose to be your friend! Nurture it but set your boundaries. Don’t let it run you. For example you can say “Hey Bob Joe, I appreciate that you’re trying to keep me safe, but all i’m about to do is go into this coffee shop for a delicious coffee. Maybe I will need a minute to figure out what I want but that’s cool, the baristas are used to that so no danger here. See ya later”. And if you want to take it one step further, talk out loud! This activates the part of your brain that deal with rational thinking (among other important parts). If you’re just thinking in your head, that part of the brain is actually OFF.

• Expose yourself to that worry. Yes this is the scary part. Do the thing your anxiety is trying to make you avoid. Remember, the more you avoid, the bigger the worry gets!

Strategy #2

Strategy #1 deals with the cognitive part of your brain. But we can’t forget your body. Remember 80% of your messaging is coming from your body. So you gotta learn how to soothe it.

Many of the body strategies are not extremely complicated. You’ve got your typical breathing strategies (which may feel like that are not working but I promise you they are). Some common ones include box breathing, tracing your fingers while you deep breathe, or holding/pausing for 2 seconds at the top and bottom of your inhale.

I personally really like sighing. Let out a loud and long sighhhhhhh. Most of anxiety can be pent up energy so this always feels good.

Other body strategies include walking around or lying on your back and lifting up your legs (you can use a wall).

Hope these few strategies help you tell your anxiety to F*** off (at least for a little bit). And don’t forget, therapy is a wonderful tool to have to learn additional strategies!